For some reason, one question I get asked by people online a lot is “What’s your vice?”. I’m very open about the fact that I don’t drink or smoke; in fact, I can’t take stimulants of any kind. This includes coffee, energy drinks, black tea and dark chocolate (😭). Yes, you read that right, dark chocolate. Despite knowing this, I once ate an entire bar of dark chocolate one evening and didn’t figure out that it was what kept me up all night until the next morning. Apparently, it’s not just the caffeine that was responsible, at least according to this article.
The answer I typically give to the question of vices is “Books” because I read entirely too much. There was once a month I read anywhere between 60 - 80 novels. No, this is not the feat it sounds like. It was an immensely unhealthy period for me. I barely ate or slept or bathed; I was sustained solely by the words I was reading and the stories they were weaving. I read everything from vampire romance to absurdist humour to supernatural thrillers. Scarcely had I finished one book that I was scouring the internet looking for my next fix, like a junkie chasing after their dealer.
This is not to say that reading in and of itself is bad, but nothing done to excess is good. Yes, no one can take the knowledge acquired away from me and I often apply it in interesting ways; but having gone down that particular rabbit hole once, I am now immensely wary when I find myself getting hyperfocused when reading and I think it may have ruined my enjoyment of novels for a while. I have however been told not to say that my vice is reading in the outside again, so I’m currently looking for a more acceptable vice as apparently, we all need one to get through this present darkness. Suggestions are welcome.
That said, I shall now give you a how-to guide on how to mainline books, so you also can feel the same intoxication I did. (Reader’s discretion is advised):
Have a device with long battery life. Even if you don’t live in a 3rd world country as I do, trust me when I say having to stop reading because your battery is almost flat will feel like a depressive slump, and you don’t want to have too many of those. Also, it’s better to read on a device than buy actual books, especially when night falls and you’re too engrossed to even be bothered to turn on the light. Several sites have novels hosted for free, just search the novel title with the terms “read free online” tacked on at the end. Apps like Kindle and AnyBooks also work.
Cut off all contact with the world. You don’t want a pesky detail like (school)work or friends or family to interrupt you when you’re fully immersed in your fantasy world (of denial) so just shut yourself off from everyone preemptively.
Start in a genre that is easy reading for you. In my case, that’d be urban contemporary fantasy. It’s preferable to start with a series so you can get really invested in the characters and their development. A few I can recommend are the Rachael Morgan/The Hollows series by Kim Harrison, the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series by Laurell K. Hamilton, the Sookie Stackhouse series/Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris, the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher, the Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne and the Jane Yellowrock series by Faith Hunter, for urban contemporary fantasy.
Read palette cleansers in-between series, so that you don’t burn out and you can keep track of what’s going on on the page without getting overwhelmed/weighed down. I found that short romantic series such as the Half-Moon Hollow series by Molly Harper or funny standalone books like Fluke: Or, I Know Why The Winged Whale Sings by Christopher Moore work well as palette cleansers. Oddly enough, Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books are good palette cleansers too; they’re entirely too mind-bending to read in one go anyway.
Have a lot of easy to prepare food at hand. At the time of my own deep dive, I lived near a bakery so I subsisted almost entirely on a variety of bread. Do whatever works for you here, though I’d advise against too much of any one food item.
Whenever you finish a series, reward yourself with a bath. Trust me when I say the incentive becomes necessary after the first three days when the itchiness is gone and you can no longer perceive your own... miasma.
Alternate between easy reading and more experimental stuff. Some of the absolute gems I discovered during my deep dive include the Sandman Slim series by Richard Kadrey, the Psy-Changeling books by Nalini Singh (which are an interesting mix of romance, urban fantasy and sci-fi) and Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse by Victor Gischler. If you want to do some serious intellectual heavy lifting, the Ilium/Olympos books by Dan Simmons are a worthy adversary.
Don’t be afraid to read nonsensical stuff. Sometimes, you’ll pick up a series and can tell from the word go that it’d be a waste of your time, e.g. the Sabina Kane series by Jaye Wells, but then it grows on you and you read it to the end halfway bemused and are even a little sad when it ends. Some other nonsense, like the Elemental Assassin series by Jennifer Estep, you just have to know when to cut your losses and run.
Last, but not least, know when to stop and go to rehab. Yes, you’ve had your good clean escapist fun but it’s now time to return to the real world and all its actual suffering, as opposed to imagined struggles/conflicts. No one is going to write a perfect resolution for your life so it’s time to put down the books and face the world which surprise, surprise has not been frozen in literary amber.
And so we come to the end of today’s lesson on how to develop a reading habit (🤭). No need for thanks, my reward is in Heaven (or whatever version of the afterlife tickles your fancy). If you enjoyed reading this, please do
and share with your friends (and/or enemies, if you roll like that).
Until next time, Peace and Word Salads.